The Gift of Communication

The Gift of Communication

What if I tell you there is a gift that you can give to your children, that will lead them to become happy to connect to this world?

What if I tell you there is a gift that will give your children warmth, care, encouragement, love and confidence even when your children need to face the world alone?

What if I tell you this gift is unseen, and yet could be implanted into your child’s heart, or carved in their mind?

Yes, there is a gift like that which is the activation of the children’s inner voice. We all know what we see, hear and feel brings impact in our perspective and understanding on the surroundings. Well, and that perspective and understanding that you are forming in your mind, will be the inner voice of yours affecting your intentions and decisions in life.

Therefore, there is no greater gift that you can give to your child other than a positive, rational and encouraging inner voice.

Here are the FIVE tips that you as the adult could do to cultivate efficient and positive conversation, that will support your children to grow with an abundance of love and happiness.

1. Follow your child

How can we communicate with children if we don’t even understand their needs?

Thus, this is the most important direction that we need to keep reminding yourself, because it’s impossible to expect them understand us with their yet-to-formed knowledge and understanding of the world. There is a statement here that could help you on this: “The best communicator is always the best facilitator.” Therefore, always keep in mind, that your outcome is to let your children speak and express, not you asking what your children need to do (unless in specific cases, you know that well 😉

2. Acceptance and Encouragement

This is important as it is stated from the beginning, you wouldn’t want your child to choose keeping everything within without any positive solutions for all matters. Therefore, encouragement is perpetually necessary for children to understand that they have the right to express. However, freedom always comes with boundaries, they need to express with responsibility. For example, speak and express with appropriate volume, take turns to speak or calm down before expressing.

3. Be a Role Model

In fact, children learn ways of communication (verbal or non-verbal) directly from you! So basically, your children are your mirror of how you communicate or behave. So here is a tip for you, be FIRM BUT KIND. Most importantly, KEEP YOUR PROMISE.

Children remember your words well and they cannot understand the way you prioritize matters. What you have said, could affect them (even when they got older till adult stage) (It’s scary, but that’s the truth 😉

4. Listen Attentively

The best thing that a communicator does, is to listen attentively. I can tell you the luckiest kid is the one who has someone listens to his or her need and try to understand them. You are busy? You are occupied? You have something more important thing to do? Well, put them away and make time to speak with your children. Why? Because you are everything to your children, especially when they do not know what to do, or how to face the world. Listen, make sure that the message that you are receiving is aligned to your children’s by asking them the happenings and reasons. They will appreciate you more than ever. Even if you cannot understand sometimes, respect their thoughts with positive and calm reaction. (For example, a hug, a word of affirmation that you can trust them, or ask them what you can do to help them on this)

5. Acknowledge first. Solve after

The most common thing that parents usually do, is to skip the acknowledgement part and directly jump into conclusion and problem-solving. Now, you are an adult, children are just children. They might not understand the reasons for what you are doing. Here’s what you can do for them, acknowledge their feelings and explain how does a problem arise. Then, guide them step-by-step to solve it (no matter how big or small is the problem). Then your children will gain the confidence to express, to face challenges around them, because they know they are learning the skills with your support!

Now, what to do?

Speak to your children and let them shine with you! 🙂

Written by
Carven Chan
An Enthusiast about children and education